I have wrestled with blogging about the CW(CUNT whore). Not sure if she deserves my words or time, but since blogging about other issues of being betrayed has helped me a lot here I go. Hopefully it’s therapeutic for me. Fingers crossed.
Before the affair I knew the CW existed. The first Christmas after moving in together I wanted to send Christmas cards out to family and friends. She along with others showed up on my husbands list of people. He told me she was a college friend. They had a lot of classes together for 3 years straight, since they had the same college major. Ok no big deal to me. I read between the lines that maybe it was more a “friends with benefits” thing and she was now married. We both had past lives before being a couple. So for years I sent her a Christmas card. Eventually I stopped because she never sent one back(petty maybe). So she knew after time we were married and had kids, since my cards had the kids pictures on them.
When I finally figured out what my husband was up to in September 2017. I knew right away whose area code was showing up hundreds of times a day for almost two months. She lives in a different state then us. My husbands emotional affair was uncovered. I still at that time got little clarification from him of who she was really to him those 3 years in college. I did start social media stalking the CW at this time, but made no contact.
In late November 2017 I caught him again using FB messenger to contact her. I made my first contact with her too through his messenger. Stupid me only demanded that he delete his friendship with her on FB instead of blocking her after Dday 1, but I would learn in coming months “where there’s a will there’s a way” and nothing I demanded from him made a difference. The following day I used every way I knew how to reach her. I wanted her to hear me and really know I existed. I emailed her(unfortunately email addresses were old), texted her to both phone numbers that showed up on our bill, and dm’d her on Instagram. After the message I sent her on my husbands FB messenger she had already locked down her FB account so I couldn’t use that method. I truly realized what a bitch she was in her response back to me.
I want to share the screenshots of the messages between us, but I have them put in an email folder I haven’t looked at for over 6 months. I can’t do that to myself. To many triggers in that folder.
So here is my summary instead. I told her to stay away from my husband and family. I didn’t know what lies my husband was feeding her, but he swears he only wants me and we are still having sex together. That he tells me he loves me all the time and if she doesn’t stay away I will tell her husband. Then she could feel the same pain inflicted on her family. See the night of Dday 2 my oldest son who we thought was asleep sat on the steps and heard our whole fight about my husband still cheating. Heartbreaking moment for me. Consoling my child as I too fell apart.
Her response to me was that she was sorry I was hurting and that this is an adult matter keep the kids out of it because she has seen first hand how hurtful these situations can be.
Not sorry that she was half the cause of my pain. Oh no she would never take the blame for her part. Oh and she blocked me from being able to get in contact with her. Or at least she thought she did.
On Dday 3 Dec 14th 2017 the day after my husband finalized our first marriage therapy appointment I found them using LinkedIn to talk to each other. I told her through his account to stop talking to my husband. I might of called her mean names too!!! She told me I couldn’t tell her what to do and then I reminded her that she had been warned and now her husband will know all. She blocked me again or rather my husbands account then. With the help of my girlfriends I made contact with her husband the following day. That’s a whole blog in its self. I don’t regret at all telling him what was going on. Her husband told me she spun a really weird story about my husband and her current “friendship”. I guess she did that knowing there was a good chance I wasn’t bluffing. I had screenshots that would prove her story to be false. A word of advice the affair partners spouse is never ever really your ally.
Finally after Dday3 my husband disclosed to me that CW was his college girlfriend of 3 years. He loved her back then and all his intense feelings have come back. That when they graduated he backed out on their deal that whoever got the best job the other would follow them there. He chickened out. She had gotten the better job. A couple years before I met my husband he reached back out to her, but it was too late she was engaged. He said after he meet me she was never a thought until she reached out while she was in town for work in July 2017 when he dropped me like a hot potato instantly.
I would have more useless convos with the CW after DDay4. She thought I should just get over it, stop talking about the affair and how naive I am about their bond together. She hated the contact I had with her husband. She demanded I stop. Blocked me and stalked my number on her husbands phone and phone bill too. I could see too how she manipulated my husband into purposely unblocking her on LinkedIn and blocking someone else with the same name as her to get me upset right before their Valentine’s Day Rendezvous. Also she has professional initials after her name on LinkedIn and the decoy did not. Stood out big time. There was no need for it. He was using a burner phone to contact her easily. She had a texting app she used. LinkedIn also shows how many days someone has been blocked for and she knew it and it did cause friction between my husband and I before he left for his work trip. His gaslighting was in full affect at this time too in order to please her more.
The last time she reached out that I know of was the day after my husbands birthday last June. I had his secret Snapchat account open on my phone. Well she got me. We played a Snapchat game of cat and mouse with each other. I guess she realized I wasn’t as naive as she thought. I sent screen shots of her Snapchat friend request to her husband. I then stopped communicating with him too. I had nothing more to say to him. Good luck with you horrible wife. Toodleloo!!!!!!
I’m doing much better and only keeping occasional tabs on her. I’m in and out fast. No deep diving PI work anymore. I’ve uncovered she is getting divorced and has changed jobs again. She’s no longer on complete social media lockdown now. I haven’t told my husband about my discoveries.
My goal is to never think of her ugly all around self again. Yes I’m prettier then her. I will say it!! Like so many my husband affaired down on all levels. I’m getting so much better not giving her to much space in my head. I truly am.
Looking back I shouldn’t have contacted the CW as much as I did. She’s a master at mind F*** language. I felt justified to contact her when I did though at the time. She never had one ounce of remorse for her part in the affair.
She’s lucky she has children. I had plenty of ways to go after her but I refrained because of them. Truth. In fact CWs husband asked me if I was the reason she got fired from her job in January 2018. I wish I had contacted the HR department at her job with a tip to look at her work cell phone logs. They figured it out on there own. She could of cared less of the fallout for all the children involved. My husband was guilty of that too though. I just can’t imagine being that self absorbed.
The CW is a manipulative bitch who came back I believe to reclaim what was hers first. Well I guess she was “naive” to think that’s how things were going to go down.
I wish her days filled with embarrassing explosive diarrhea and angry yeast infections. Please Karma! Please!
Here’s to leaving her in my rear view mirror real soon!
I would like to thank http://livingafterbetrayal.home.blog @newmanin2018 on twitter for sharing this above picture for me!!