Tired Of Talking About Infidelity

It’s been awhile since I published a blog. I started one and midway through I just felt the need to stop writing. Hit the save button and haven’t been back for weeks now. I’ve been feeling so over the word INFIDELITY and all that comes with it.

I’ve done the super hard work of finding myself again and recovering from the blows of infidelity. Now it’s time to live again. Fly like a butterfly into the unknown future with my husband who I’m not sure I will ever feel true safety with again. I’m going to have to let time answer that question for me.

When I first got on Twitter I found a wonderful support group of people who came before me and then I noticed one by one they flew away. Maybe I understand why now. Eventually we will all feel the need to move on and jump into truly living again. I get excited when I see one of those butterflies tweet every once in awhile. Infidelity issues aren’t first in my line of things to deal with anymore. THANK GOODNESS!!!

We have issues still to deal with now as the dust has settled on our infidelity chapter. These problems really are within our “new marriage”. My husband and I have both changed from the experience. We don’t flow easily together anymore and are battling the growing pains of getting to know our newer versions of ourselves. Love still remains through it all. I won’t lie though I still get very frustrated with him.

Some updates:

I got my test results back. One test came back negative for HPV and my biopsy came back with a result that stated a mild chance of having cells forming. Ugh! Confusing. My Doctor said as of now no cancer and no HPV. Another biopsy will need to be done end of year to follow up.

I survived 2nd Anniversary of Dday4/my Birthday. My husband didn’t put the E in effort in my opinion to help celebrate my day. He didn’t learn anything from the fallout after he did Nothing for Valentine’s Day. I was in a dark place emotionally afterwards for a few days. Dday anniversaries are mentally hard. Add my birthday into the mix and just makes a big ball of SUCK!!! I’m glad my triggers days are done for months now.

My focus like I’m sure everyone else is on Covid-19 and the changes we are dealing with. Today I start overseeing my kids homeschooling. We are in quarantine mode in our area for nonessential living. We will see if I’m smarter then a fourth grader. My high schooler is on his own LOL!! He has a laptop so they are starting some virtual learning.

*** We survived the first day. It took a lot longer then I thought too. Should definitely get better as we fall into a rhythm.

I wish everyone good mental and physical health through all of the changes we are going through with Covid-19. So far, so good for my family. It’s only day four though of our new lifestyle…..

Happy St. Patty’s day from this Irish girl!


7 thoughts on “Tired Of Talking About Infidelity

  1. Good luck to you! It took me about 10 minutes of fourth grade math to start flailing. It’s shameful that I could stumble through Calc I & II in college but whatever they are teaching him is Greek to me. Fortunately, he may not need much help but if he does he’s going to need to Skype his teacher.

    I’m glad you have a long period of time ahead with no triggers. Maybe by next year your husband will be inclined to celebrate and it will eventually be fully your day again. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I’m tired of taking about it too. I’m amazed at the writers who have stuck around 10-12 years to continue to help us “newbies” such as Helen Tower and Rosie Joseph. I hope to put this out of the forefront of my mind one day. Kind of scary and sad to think that we don’t have the number of years ahead of us that we have behind us. We’ve been together 32 years and will be in our 80s if we make it another 32.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Yes, tired is a good way of describing it. Maybe even exhausting!!! We work through stuff again and again, we try to deal with ongoing trauma responses, we try to deal with triggers, we try to understand, we try to forgive, we try to move on, we try to trust and build a new life … so much trying, and trying, and trying.

    Liked by 1 person

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